:: night night ::

Over the past 6 months my prayer life has changed drastically. I'm learning to beg, to plead, and to praise...authentically. I have to confess, I used to pray (and still do) with little urgency and little need because I trust myself too much. I feel in control far too often. Not so the past six months - I have very much felt the opposite. Fathering a child leaves me feeling out of control most days. When I consider the weight of responsibilities I carry as his father, I have but one choice - pray. Pray earnestly and often with expectancy and deep dependence.

I have always been a morning person - my mind is sharpest, my energy highest, and my prayers most focused. Ever since Liam entered the world I have become a night person. Okay, that's a lie...more like an early evening person. My new favorite time of day is the moment before I put Liam down in his crib to go "night-night".

Unfortunately, during the work week I don't get to see him very often. So, Elkie allows me the privilege of putting him to sleep every night. I LOVE IT! Every night is a little different - some nights he fights sleep, some nights he cries and other nights he cuddles close and falls to sleep quickly. One thing that is always the same though, I pray for him. I don't pray because it is the spiritual thing to do or because it makes me feel good about myself. I pray over him because I don't have a choice. I am helpless to care for him on my own. My prayers for him come from a deep need and a deep dependence. As I hold him, rock him, and comfort him, prayers flow. His eyes get heavy and begin to close, mine well with tears as I pray for his heart, his affections, and his fight against temptation. I pray many things - that he would sleep well, that he would love his wife well, that he would be broken for the poor and the oppressed and on and on. It is an amazing gift that God is using "night-night" to draw me close. Fatherhood is teaching me to pray.

- 4th of july fail -

Ben and I officially FAILED at 4th of July this year.

You would think that since the 4th has always been one of my favorite holidays, I would have at least attempted to participate in the festivities, dress Liam in a cute outfit, pull him in a wagon during the annual parade, or watch the fireworks...nope. 

The truth is, our family needed a break. A real relaxing, sit in the sun, listen to music, take naps, eat anything you want kind of break. Luckily, my parents, Caroline, Uncle Rod and Aunt Chris were on the same page - so thats exactly what we did. 

Apparently, picking up a camera was also to much for me - so thank you, Caroline for documenting! 

 Liam, I promise we will give you a REAL 4th of July next year!