Daddy Steps...

If you know anything about who I am, you know that I am (what my mom calls), an extreme “feeler”.  A few years ago when I took the Myers Briggs personality test, my results on the portion of Thinking vs Feeling was as far on the Feeling side as one can be.  I don’t know how much I trust MBTI testing, but I do know from experience, I am an extreme feeler.  In every situation, every experience, and every season of my life, my feelings have dictated every decision and action... but, in my current situation, my feelings have me stumped.

Elkie and I are now in our 2nd trimester, 17 weeks to be exact, and I still have no idea what I am feeling.  Of course, there have been feelings of excitement, and joy, and worry, and fear, and love, more emotions than I can name, but I still can’t put a finger on exactly how I feel.  I guess, the best way to describe my overall feeling of becoming a daddy is that it is still very surreal.

Elkie doesn't yet have a basketball for a belly, we have not set up a nursery or had any baby showers, so the whole idea of being a dad has not set in.  I was reminded today, how little I talk about the baby, how little I pray for the baby, and how insensitive I am to the fact that Elkie is working extremely hard 24/7 growing a human inside of her.  Reminders like these give me a real sense of urgency to take action and to prepare.  The problem is, I have no idea how to prepare to become a daddy.

Thankfully I am married to an incredible woman who was created to be a mom.  I know she will teach me “baby things”, how to change a diaper, how and when to feed, how to hold and nurture, and how to care for it’s every need.  I guess the best way to prepare, is to learn how to love and care for my wife, my partner, my teacher, my best friend, more and more each day.  My dad has been a great example of this for me.  As I’ve grown older, I have noticed his incredible ability to be a great father stems from the depth of love he has for my mom.  

So, I ask you to pray with me and for me as I prepare to be a dad, that I will be a great husband, and will continue to grow in love for Elkie and in my ability to express my love to her.  

A baby will be reality very soon.  Until then, I will continue taking small little daddy steps.

-Ben